Can I be your memory

In the 6 Oct 08 issue of TIME, there was an acticle on purity balls. Quote from the Wikipedia, "A purity ball (also known as a father-daughter purity ball or purity wedding) is a formal event attended by fathers and their daughters. Typically, daughters who attend make a virginity pledge; a pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Fathers who attend pledge to protect what they view as their young daughters' "purity" of mind, body and soul."

I think that purity balls are a good way for fathers and daughters bond. But these balls should include sons too. Why is it just girls who have to stay pure? Cant men stay pure too? You see the cycle goes on. It will not stop until the boys are targeted too.

Then why fathers? I think that it is because they are not around most of the time. Lets face it, although we have working mothers, most men are the sole breadwinners. This means that girls and boys do not have a male role model to look up to. So this day is extremely important. Moreover, the presence of a father (who is constantly busy with work) attending an event with them furthers emphasizes the significance of the purity ball. Thus the children will take it seriously. I will not be surprised if the girls actually look forward to this annual event. But this is only based on the assumption that mothers are stay-home mothers, and that these mothers are good role models. So there you go, the happy family.

But there is a problem. What if both parents are working and neither spends sufficient time with the kids? Now which parent is more important? Who should attend the ball? Is even the idea of having a role model from home a good one? All parents are being parents for the first time, so they are bound to make mistakes but undeniablely there are good and bad parents. But what makes a parent good or bad? I think bad parents do not deserve to be a parent at all. So maybe before anyone can start a family, they should be qualify to be a good parent(s) first. Maybe in the future we will have a Parenting Authority of Singapore. Before anyone can be a parent, they need to gain approval from the PAS. Of course this sounds ridiculous now. But think of the children who had suffered just because of their parents. It is not fair. They tell us to be responsible for our actions, 'SO BE RESPONSIBLE.' Yes parents, YOU.

It is easy as a parent to say 'Do as i say, not as i do,' but does it mean anything if the child sees you doing otherwise? It is more vaulable to make the commitment and stay true to it. Hypocrisy will be spotted very quickly. And then the child would no longer see the significance of upholding the promise anymore.

Quote from the pledeges for fathers: 'to be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father.'

So fathers, you spend that one night with your daughters and bear witness to their purity pledeges, you must not forget the pledeges you made not just on that night but also the other one you made a really long time ago (to your wife). Now let me say it back to you, 'practice what you preach.'

Some pictures from a purity ball http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1822906,00.html

A search on the WEB gave me a list of definations of the word 'clean slate.' The Free Dictionary states that it is an opportunity to start over without prejudice. The Dictionary.com interprete it as a new start; especially to make a new start by clearing the record. But is there such a thing as a clean slate?

So they say: face your consquences, redeem yourself and you will be forgiven. Everyone wants to hear that it was a mistake, everything will be ok. But the truth is, nothing is ok. It never will be. They don't tell you that the effect is permanment. They don't remind you of the harm you caused (to yourself or anyone else). So what if you feel guilty, so what if you are serving time, so what if you are dead. (I know it shows harsh. But tell that to Josef Fritzl's victims.) The consquences affect not only your life but the ones around you (talk about fairness). No matter how strong you say you are, everyone lives in the shadows of the past. It shrinks away when you feel all better but just when the time is right (or should i say wrong), it engulfs you again -reminding you of everything you try so hard to forget. I am talking about tiny little mistakes we make in life. Mistakes we make when we are weak. There is no excuse, there is no taking it back because the consequence is there right in front of us.

So tell me is there such a thing as a clean slate?



In life we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones; gluttony, pride, lust. But the thing you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger is not that dangerous, that you can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior, it did make the top seven.

So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really, you give into a sin like envy or pride and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and one or two others. But anger, anger is the worst, the mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does you can take an awful lot of people with you.
Grey's Anatomy - 17 Seconds