Can I be your memory

I hear alot of God recently. How it has changed them. How God made them realise that they should treasure their loved ones. How happy they are now. How happy their families are now. How God made them good. How God has helped them to be happy. How he is there whenever they need him. How He gives them strength. Quote from a girl, 'I know that whenever i need his strength, i just call out his name or say a small prayer and everything will be ok.'

What I am goin to say below may cause some strong reactions but i must clarify that i have no intentions of being disrepectful as you can see i am addressin God and He with capital letters. So please do not be offended.

So from what i gather is that those people and the ones around them werent happy before God. That they are non appreciative, non thankful, non daring, confused between good or bad (according to the general society's definition).. the list goes on. It is a long list but not every single one applies to everyone, for most only one or some from the list is(are) relevant, but for a few others the entire list is pertinent.

I never do understand why would one need a priest or a bible to tell them what they should or should not do in life. I thought those were very obvious. Be nice to people. Treat them how you want to be treated. Appreciate the good things in life. Do not inflict pain. Be thankful.... But somehow God can be associated to all of them.

Maybe people need to know that there is someone out there who is watchin over them, keeping track of all the good and bad deeds they do, putting pressure over them. For there is the dreaded Judgement Day or for the chinese, the 18 levels of hell. If those punishments aren't present, if goin to church every Sunday doesn mean that you will go to heaven, i wonder if all the worshippers will remain just as faithful.

Have you ever felt like you are happy but not exactly happy? That there are things to be happy about but you can be happier?

The entire phrase on the top of the blog is suppose to go like this.

Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you.

I left the last line out.

I believe that feelings can grow. People can be moved by actions and words. I certainly have. It is a great feeling. But feelings can fade too. You had the courage to tell the truth and let me go. And i respect that. I am filled with grief but I will be fine.

I am not blamin you nor am i angry but I cannot bring myself to give you well wishes. Maybe someday.

Someone said, 'I don't feel like I need to seek a man. I will be found.' First thought of mine was so few would have thought it that way. Second thought how naive of her. Soon you will learn and join the rest of us.

It seems to me that everyone is on the great hunt for that soul mate; that love in songs, books and movies; the one who understands you and will be there for you no matter what. The great hunt. How can you believe it when someone says that he has feelings for you? Is that the truth? Is that an influation? Will it fade with time? How do i know? Is there even such a thing? Or its just your hormones playin tricks on you?

So you say, 'what the hack, why not give it a try?' And there comes datin and then you tell yourself not to fall too deep. Not to fall in love. But one day you wake up in the morning and realise that you are in love. At that moment, blinded by hormones you believe in blissfulness. You both truely believe in that. Then what happens. The responsibilty, the give and take, the new habits to get accustomed to, the fights, oh the strain on that blissfulness. Do you work it out or just get a 'new one' to start over?

I like the chase. Who doesn't? But how come every single time when i believed in something and let you take my hand, i dont see you walkin beside me? Instead you end up running in the opposite direction. Is it so difficult to take this walk with me? You are not alone; I was there all along. I am still here.

Life is a game of whist. From unseen sources The cards are shuffled, and the hands are dealt. I do not like the way the cards are shuffled, But yet I like the game and want to play.

Eugene F. Ware

In the 6 Oct 08 issue of TIME, there was an acticle on purity balls. Quote from the Wikipedia, "A purity ball (also known as a father-daughter purity ball or purity wedding) is a formal event attended by fathers and their daughters. Typically, daughters who attend make a virginity pledge; a pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Fathers who attend pledge to protect what they view as their young daughters' "purity" of mind, body and soul."

I think that purity balls are a good way for fathers and daughters bond. But these balls should include sons too. Why is it just girls who have to stay pure? Cant men stay pure too? You see the cycle goes on. It will not stop until the boys are targeted too.

Then why fathers? I think that it is because they are not around most of the time. Lets face it, although we have working mothers, most men are the sole breadwinners. This means that girls and boys do not have a male role model to look up to. So this day is extremely important. Moreover, the presence of a father (who is constantly busy with work) attending an event with them furthers emphasizes the significance of the purity ball. Thus the children will take it seriously. I will not be surprised if the girls actually look forward to this annual event. But this is only based on the assumption that mothers are stay-home mothers, and that these mothers are good role models. So there you go, the happy family.

But there is a problem. What if both parents are working and neither spends sufficient time with the kids? Now which parent is more important? Who should attend the ball? Is even the idea of having a role model from home a good one? All parents are being parents for the first time, so they are bound to make mistakes but undeniablely there are good and bad parents. But what makes a parent good or bad? I think bad parents do not deserve to be a parent at all. So maybe before anyone can start a family, they should be qualify to be a good parent(s) first. Maybe in the future we will have a Parenting Authority of Singapore. Before anyone can be a parent, they need to gain approval from the PAS. Of course this sounds ridiculous now. But think of the children who had suffered just because of their parents. It is not fair. They tell us to be responsible for our actions, 'SO BE RESPONSIBLE.' Yes parents, YOU.

It is easy as a parent to say 'Do as i say, not as i do,' but does it mean anything if the child sees you doing otherwise? It is more vaulable to make the commitment and stay true to it. Hypocrisy will be spotted very quickly. And then the child would no longer see the significance of upholding the promise anymore.

Quote from the pledeges for fathers: 'to be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father.'

So fathers, you spend that one night with your daughters and bear witness to their purity pledeges, you must not forget the pledeges you made not just on that night but also the other one you made a really long time ago (to your wife). Now let me say it back to you, 'practice what you preach.'

Some pictures from a purity ball http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1822906,00.html

A search on the WEB gave me a list of definations of the word 'clean slate.' The Free Dictionary states that it is an opportunity to start over without prejudice. The Dictionary.com interprete it as a new start; especially to make a new start by clearing the record. But is there such a thing as a clean slate?

So they say: face your consquences, redeem yourself and you will be forgiven. Everyone wants to hear that it was a mistake, everything will be ok. But the truth is, nothing is ok. It never will be. They don't tell you that the effect is permanment. They don't remind you of the harm you caused (to yourself or anyone else). So what if you feel guilty, so what if you are serving time, so what if you are dead. (I know it shows harsh. But tell that to Josef Fritzl's victims.) The consquences affect not only your life but the ones around you (talk about fairness). No matter how strong you say you are, everyone lives in the shadows of the past. It shrinks away when you feel all better but just when the time is right (or should i say wrong), it engulfs you again -reminding you of everything you try so hard to forget. I am talking about tiny little mistakes we make in life. Mistakes we make when we are weak. There is no excuse, there is no taking it back because the consequence is there right in front of us.

So tell me is there such a thing as a clean slate?



In life we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones; gluttony, pride, lust. But the thing you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger is not that dangerous, that you can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior, it did make the top seven.

So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really, you give into a sin like envy or pride and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and one or two others. But anger, anger is the worst, the mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does you can take an awful lot of people with you.
Grey's Anatomy - 17 Seconds